This Is Me — The Untold Side of Epilepsy
“But I already told you.”
I know. I believe you. The problem is that my brain did not keep it.
Memory problems for me are not limited to the seizure itself. They can affect ordinary life: something explained to me in hospital, what I went shopping for, how I am supposed to pay a bill, an appointment, instructions somebody gave me, or a conversation we have already had.
I can understand something when you tell me and still not retain it afterwards. That can be difficult for other people to understand because, from their point of view, the conversation definitely happened.
The hardest part is sometimes not the forgetting. It is trying to explain that I genuinely have forgotten without sounding as though I am making an excuse.
I’m not saying you didn’t tell me. I’m saying my brain didn’t keep it.
It is not that I do not care. It is not that I was deliberately ignoring you. Sometimes the information simply is not there when I try to retrieve it.
This is my reality, not my excuse.
Why I am sharing this
Memory can be affected in different ways in epilepsy, and everybody’s experience is different. I am sharing what it looks like in my everyday life because memory problems are not always visible from the outside.